Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
