I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
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i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
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I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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