Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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