haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.