Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.