I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow