A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already