I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.