and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
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You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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