guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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