At least make sure they are 18
Why
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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