lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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