I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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