On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
