I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
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It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
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The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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