New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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