Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
