She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
wow bdsm is so cute
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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