There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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