Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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