My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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