It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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