K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
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The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment