hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"