I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
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I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
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He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.