I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
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Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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