Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
