OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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