Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
whose parrot is this?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
