So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
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You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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