I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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