i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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