I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
