There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
