Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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