I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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