so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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