I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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