I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
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I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
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I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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