just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She told me I should be a condom model.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
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