Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
