Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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