I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm drive I can fine osifer
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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