meet me or not, i'm out of control
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize