bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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