she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
