Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
