i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
