found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize