what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
