I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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