i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
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He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
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