Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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