Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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