it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
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His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
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He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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